The Forgiveness Train

Are you struggling to forgive someone? Maybe the wound runs so deep that forgiveness feels impossible. The deeper the hurt, the more it spreads—anger, hate, bitterness, jealousy, even thoughts of revenge. These emotions begin to take over, and you become the one trapped behind the bars of pain, even if the person who hurt you doesn’t know or even care.

If you want to experience the abundant life Jesus promised, unforgiveness must go. It eats away at your emotions and your body. Freedom begins with a choice—your choice -- a deliberate decision to forgive, even when your emotions resist it.

The Act of Forgiveness

The act of forgiveness is a process, and it begins with a choice—a deliberate decision on your part to forgive, no matter how many painful emotions are swirling inside you. Until you choose to forgive, forgiveness cannot take root, and you remain stuck in the cycle of those negative emotions. You are the one suffering through anger, bitterness, hatred and it occupies your mind, keeping you a prisoner of your emotions. The person or persons you are unwilling to forgive may have long forgot about you, and YOU are the one in chains because you are unable to forgive. You are robbed of living free because you are bound in the chains of unforgiveness.

Depending on the offense, forgiveness may be a difficult thing to do; however, we cannot forget how deeply we are affected when we allow unforgiveness to take root in our lives.

Mark 11:25 – “Whenever you stand praying, forgive… so that your Father… may forgive you.”

Then to make things even worse, God tells us in His Word that how we forgive others has a direct connection on how God forgives us.

Forgiveness is like a train. The engine is your choice to forgive. It must begin there. Tell the Lord and yourself that you choose to forgive. Remember, choice is not a feeling - it is a deliberate act of your will to choose to forgive, regardless of your feelings. Behind your engine of choice are all the cars, which are all the negative emotions connected to the offense. The severity of the offense determines how many cars you must pass through, but once the engine of choice moves, the rest will follow as you work your way through each boxcar, which contains your emotions, including feelings, on your way to the caboose, which is where your feelings will have changed to be free and at peace.

As you travel through each emotional “car,” which represents the offense you are carrying, keep praying: “Lord, I choose to forgive _________.” Be deliberate, even though you probably don't feel like it - just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it feels like there are endless boxcars between the engine and the caboose, but the more you choose to forgive, the faster you move through each emotion - each boxcar. Don’t stop. Go all the way!

Don’t wait for an apology from the offender because that may never come. Remember, you are the one forgiving for your own mental health and spiritual growth. It has nothing to do with the person or persons who hurt you.

While there is a God‑given part of you that longs to confront wrong behavior, and speaking the truth can release some of the pain you’ve been carrying. If you choose to confront, it must be done in a gentle, honest and loving way. Whatever you do, don't do it when you are angry, but the confrontation will only escalate. Don't, however, expect the one you need to forgive to respond in a way that satisfies you. Expecting that only leads to disappointment. So consider wisely if you want to confront the other person. Remember: your freedom is the goal. Let the Lord deal with them. 

Above All, Guard Your Heart

As you continue the “act” of working your way to forgiveness, compassion often begins to rise. This happened to Jesus when He was being crucified when He cried out on the cross “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Another word for compassion is often pity, because you begin to realize they have no idea what they have done. Your anger or resentment turns to pity (compassion), which is a sign that you are nearing the caboose. Compassion doesn't mean you accept their behavior, but forgiveness stops their behavior from destroying your heart. Along witgh that, you end up with a compassion toward them where you end up feeling sorry for them because they have no idea what they have done - they know not what they have done!

Prov 4:23  Above all else, guard your heart - for it determines the course of your life. NLT

When you reach the end of the forgiveness train, and you step into the caboose, you realize the bitterness is gone. The feelings of forgiveness have become real and the pain is gone. This pain no longer defines your present or your future and you are FREE!